“He’s bleedin’ demised!”
Harry Potter deeply regretted introducing Ron to Monty Python. It was amazing; he couldn’t remember what ingredients made up certain potions, but Quidditch stats and random clips from Monty Python sketches he could spout at a moment’s notice.
“He’s passed on! He is no more!”
It was a few months past the last battle, Voldemort was no more, and a group of them had gathered in the Veil room in the Department of Mysteries to investigate a strange occurrence. Something so strange that it had raised the eyebrows of a few certain members of the order and made them think that just maybe the impossible was possible. Ron and Hermione, however, weren’t convinced about any possibility that Sirius Black was still alive. Ron was just being more emphatic about it than Hermione was.
“He has ceased to be! He’s expired and gone to meet his maker! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! His metabolic processes are now history!” Ron’s face began to rather attractively match his hair during his ranting.
Hermione was standing there horrified, Harry was hiding his eyes and trying hard not to laugh at how absurd Ron was being, Remus was looking down at the floor, although there was a tell-tale smirk beginning to grace his lips (no doubt he knew exactly where Ron was quoting from, and thought that Sirius would see the irony in being compared with a dead parrot who had to be nailed to the perch to avoid pushing up the daisies), and Snape was just twitching in anger (even though he highly agreed with Ron’s assessment of the situation, as much as he hated to admit it).
“He’s off the twig! He’s kicked the bucket, he’s shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible! THIS IS AN EX-SIRIUS!”
“What the bloody hell are you nattering on about? I’m right here,” a rather alive Sirius Black grinned from his seat on the bottom tier of benches.
Snape sputtered, Ron and Hermione gaped, Harry was ecstatic, and Remus snogged Sirius.
And they all lived happily ever after (even Snape, who found a lasting relationship with a llama named Bruce).